The EFT Healing Centre Blog
May 9, 2012
Last month, when I was a speaker at the EFT Gathering in Ontario, I talked about a turning point in my life when I had stepped into vulnerability, and allowed myself to be fully authentic. I explained how the decision to finally be true to myself, and be completely open and honest, had transformed my marriage, my friendships, my business, and my perspective of myself. It was healing on a massive scale!
You see, in 2009, I had reached a point where I was simply “functioning.” I felt unheard, unsupported, and overwhelmed. Because it was all too much, I had disconnected from myself.
I had molded and shaped myself to be someone I thought I had to be: an EFT Practitioner who ‘walked the talk’; who was perfect and “shouldn’t” have problems of her own; who had to be well at all times and soldier on.
I was hiding behind a mask, and I was there for everyone else, yet I’d forgotten about me – who I was, and what I was passionate about. There was no joy, no ease, and no affluence.
I described myself to the audience at the EFT Gathering as being in a very long tunnel, desperately looking for that light at the end of it, only there was no light; not even a flicker.
Have you been in that place?
Once I’d realised that I had completely disconnected from myself, and I was living lie, I was pained beyond belief. And yet it was the biggest gift I could have given myself because I knew there was only one option: to be vulnerable, express my true feelings, and open up to the people around me so they knew how I was feeling, and who I was. I won’t pretend it was easy, but as I mentioned, that decision led to deep healing, on a massive scale.
For me, it’s now very clear: in order to experience fully radiant health, we must be authentic; otherwise we are simply pushing down our true feelings, soldiering on, and creating dis-ease.
If you desire to be truly you, then you may find the following tapping transcript helpful. If you are new to EFT, click on tapping points to view a map of the meridian points.
Even though I want to be ‘me’ and it’s not safe to be ‘me’, I want to accept who I am and how I’m feeling about this
Even though I’m unsure who ‘me’ is because I’ve been this way for so long, I can accept myself for the courage it takes to say that
Even though they might not like it if I’m ‘me’, what if I like it if I’m me, and what if THAT is what truly matters?
Head: I really do want to be myself
Eyebrow: I want them to see me for who I truly am
Side of eye: but that makes me feel uncomfortable
Under eye: I feel very unsafe about that
Under nose: they make not like it
Chin: they make think I’m getting too big for my boots
Collarbone: maybe I won’t like being me?
Under arm: maybe I will!
Liver: maybe I’ll LOVE being me!
Wrists: but I don’t even know who ‘me’ is anymore
Head: I’ve been this way for a long time now
Eyebrow: maybe I’ll just stay this way
Side of eye: it seems to be working
Under eye: no, it isn’t!
Under nose: I am functioning in life
Chin: I’m soldiering on
Collarbone: and suddenly that doesn’t seem to be enough
Under arm: I deserve more than this
Liver: I’m curious to know what being ‘me’ would feel like
Wrists: I’m ready to experience the joy, ease and affluence of who I truly am!
Now close your eyes and take a deep but comfortable breath. You might need to repeat this process or feel free to change the wording so it applies to how you really feel. The phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative or get hung up on finding the “perfect” wording – just state what’s on your mind and remember, allowing yourself to be vulnerable allows you to connect with your authentic self.
April 4, 2012
Do you sometimes find yourself feeling squeezed for time as you whirl around from one chore to another trying to accomplish everything you need to do? Does that leave you with no time for you? If you’re nodding your head it’s time to step out of the time squeeze machine and step into the ME time machine.
I was working with one of my EFT clients recently and she was telling me about all the things she had to do in her life. The topic of breathing came up, and I asked her to take a breath in that moment. She told me it was very shallow. We immediately tapped on her being so busy that she couldn’t possibly take the time to breathe. Of course, this opened up a discussion, and much tapping and Matrix Re-imprinting around why she felt so squeezed in her life, why she was so busy, and why she avoided time for herself.
Because of old programming, and the “frantic energy” in which she grew up, there appeared to be no other way of moving through life. It wasn’t safe for her to spend time looking after herself and focusing on her needs; she had to stay vigilant, anticipate and prepare.
I am observing that one of my patterns is to over-extend myself and assume I have more time than I do in reality. That leaves me feeling very squeezed and uncomfortable!
If this is a familiar pattern for you, then I hope you find this month’s tapping transcript useful.
If you are new to EFT, click on tapping points to view a map of the meridian points.
Even though I’m feeling squeezed for time, I want to accept myself anyway because I’m doing my best
Even though I feel pressurized to complete everything, I want to accept who I am and how I’m feeling
Even though I don’t have the time to breathe because life is so busy, I choose to feel safe enough to breathe deeply and expansively, because I know I can
Head: I’m feeling squeezed for time
Eyebrow: there’s so much to do
Side of eye: I’ve over-extended myself again
Under eye: and I don’t have enough time to do it all
Under nose: I feel so pressurized
Chin: and this is very uncomfortable
Collarbone: so I’m starting to wonder what could happen if I felt safe enough to take a breath
Under arm: and then another one
Liver: in a very calm, and easy, way
Wrists: just allowing the breath to flow
Head: I’ve decided to focus on my breath for a moment
Eyebrow: and the more I focus on my breath
Side of eye: the more expansive I feel
Under eye: and the less squeezed I feel
Under nose: and the more I’m open to letting go
Chin: of all the ‘musts’, ‘shoulds’, and ‘have tos’
Collarbone: It feels unfamiliar to focus on me
Under arm: and yet I’m finding it surprisingly energising!
Liver: Now I’ve allowed myself some time for me
Wrists: I feel calm, confident, spacious, and ready to move forward.
Now close your eyes and take a deep but comfortable breath. You might need to repeat this process or feel free to change the wording so it applies to how you really feel. The phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative or get hung up on finding the “perfect” wording – just state what’s on your mind.
March 4, 2012
You cannot always control the energy around you but you can uplift your energy with tapping.
Do you notice your energy lifting when you’re around certain people? Isn’t it a fantastic feeling to be vibrating at that level?
And then there are times when you feel completely exhausted having spent time around other people. You literally feel as though life has been sucked out of you!
Many of my clients are deeply empathic so it’s very easy for them to feel another’s pain, or distress, and it’s very tiring for them. They easily ‘take on’ what the other person is experiencing and not only feel it emotionally, but usually physically, too.
Do you experience that?
The list of five
If so I hope you’ll find my tapping transcript useful this month. But before we start tapping, take a notebook and pen and write down the five people you spend the most time with each week.
As you observe your list, notice if these people are energy boosters, or energy drainers. How much time out of your life are you spending with them? How is your body responding as you read their names? Do you find yourself smiling and feeling lighter, or sighing and feeling depleted?
The people you spend time with on a regular basis really do impact every area of your life – from mentally and emotionally, to physically, and even financially.
Who would you love to be around more so you could add them to your list of five? Really notice who fuels you when you’re around them so that your energy is revitalized and not zapped.
And of course, the flip side of that is, if there are people on your list who zap your energy, why are you spending time with them?
Tapping on feeling drained by them
If that last question created anxiety within you, then notice where the anxiety is sitting in your body, and start tapping (change the wording as necessary):
Even though she drains me, I want to accept myself anyway
Even though I have to be around her because she’s my mother/work colleague/friend, I accept how conflicted and uncomfortable I’m feeling in this moment
Even though she depletes my energy levels, I deserve to be surrounded by people who lift my energy levels
Head: I’m drained when I’m around her
Eyebrow: I feel depleted
Side of eye: I deserve to be around people who raise my energy
Under eye: but she’s my ___________ [mother, work colleague, friend, etc] and I have to be there for her
Under nose: if I didn’t spend time with her, who would I spend time with?
Chin: I’m afraid to change this situation
Collarbone: but I’m so depleted, and I deserve more
Under arm: I’m ready to spend even more time with people who lift my energy
Liver: and I’m willing to feel good about doing that
Wrists: for my own sake, I’ve decided to surround myself with people who fuel my energy!
Now close your eyes and take a deep but comfortable breath. You might need to repeat this process or feel free to change the wording so it applies to how you really feel. The phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative or get hung up on finding the “perfect” wording – just state what’s on your mind.
February 8, 2012
Self love. Intriguing. What comes to mind?
Do any of these statements sound familiar:
‘With everything going on, my needs didn’t seem to matter’
‘I’m not used to focusing on myself – it seems selfish’
‘I’ve always put my family first because that’s what my mother did’
If any of these comments resonate for you, you’re not alone. It’s ingrained within us to look after others first and put ourselves second, because that’s the ‘right thing to do’. To consider our needs for a moment may appear selfish.
So with Valentine’s Day around the corner, and thoughts of love, relationships, connectedness and acknowledgement of another for the joy they bring you, where is the acknowledgement of yourself? Where is the self love?
It’s easy to put the focus on others. We may consider someone’s needs and push ourselves to look after their needs, forgetting about our own needs in the process. Or we may compare ourselves to someone else’s successes and fixate on what they’re accomplishing, or what they have.
All this keeps us very small, unfulfilled and disconnected from ourselves. How can we stay true to ourselves and our needs when we are constantly focusing outwards?
If there is any resistance coming up for you as you read this, any thoughts of how selfish it would be to think of yourself, then I encourage you to consider how you can prioritize yourself as much as them. What would it take to give yourself as much time as you give them? What would that feel like?
Write down any thoughts or feelings coming up for you right now, and then use the following tapping transcript to ease you into a little more self love:
Even though I’m not used to considering MY needs, I want to accept myself anyway
Even though I’ve always put their needs first, I’m open to the possibility that my needs are just as important so I’m willing to take a moment to think about what I need
Even though it’s selfish to think about my needs, I’m ready to forgive myself for the conflict I’m experiencing now
Head: I’ve always put them first
Eyebrow: it seemed right to do that
Side of eye: I didn’t even consider what I needed
Under eye: that would have been selfish
Under nose: I’ve given so much to them
Chin: and I forgot about me
Collarbone: and now seems like the perfect time to change this
Under arm: I deserve to feel safe enough to prioritise myself alongside them
Liver: I am ready to support myself the way that I’ve supported them
Wrists: It’s time to re-connect with me, and what I need, and that feels right in this moment.
Take a moment to write down any thoughts or feelings that came up as you tapped, and then tap on those for deeper resolution.
November 9, 2011
Being present, here, in the moment is how we experience and live life to its fullest. I know that. You know that.
But … do you ever feel like you’re juggling about 15 balls at once? It’s hard to be “present” to be “here” when there is so much internal ‘stuff’ going on; such a long ‘to do’ list, so many things that need your attention.
Last week, I was talking to my EFT friend, Tami Close, about being present and what that means. She reminded me that when children are at school and the attendance register is read out, they are asked to call out, “Here!” That got me thinking about what it means to be ‘here’ and what we miss out on when we are not fully ‘here’ in a given moment.
There’s been a lot going on for me recently: organizing and hosting the EFT Gathering in Vancouver, holding my AAMET workshops, and preparing for Sharon King’s Matrix & Birth Reimprinting workshops in a few weeks. Although I’ve been juggling those balls, when it’s time to work with my clients, I am fully ‘here’ and for each 90 minute session, I am present and connected to them. Everything else goes over ‘there’.
With the holidays approaching, and all the balls that need to be juggled, I thought the following tapping would be useful.
Even though I can’t focus on one task, I accept myself anyway
Even though there are too many balls to juggle and I don’t know what to do first, I am doing my best and I accept myself
Even though it’s hard to be fully present in any moment, I’m willing to be as present as I can be and maybe that’s enough
Top of head: I’m not fully ‘here’
Eyebrow: there is so much to think about
Side of eye: so much to accomplish
Under eye: I feel out of balance
Under nose: I’m not present
Chin: I wonder what it would take to be in balance
Collarbone: I wonder what it would take to be present, just for a moment
Under arm: I deserve to experience that sensation
Liver: I’m ready to find it surprisingly easy to be ‘here’
Wrists: and to observe what that is like, even for a moment.
Now close your eyes and take a deep but comfortable breath. You might need to repeat this process or feel free to change the wording so it applies to how you really feel. The phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative or get hung up on finding the “perfect” wording – just state what’s on your mind.
The art of juggling balls is not only the ability to keep them up in the air, but to give each landing ball your touch and acknowledgement of its “being present – being here” right at your fingertips whether that be for 90 minutes or nine!
October 6, 2011
To all my Canadian readers: Happy Thanksgiving! And to everyone: Thank YOU for taking time to read my monthly newsletters and for emailing me with your comments and ideas.
During my EFT Level 1 class last month, we discussed Gratitude Tapping in front of the mirror. As now is the time to give thanks and celebrate our family, friends, and what we have in our lives, I thought there would be no better time to do some Gratitude Tapping!
Sit in front of the mirror and ground yourself. Notice your breath; notice what the chair feels like under you; notice where your hands are placed. Take a deep breath in through the top of your head and imagine a beautiful white light moving down through your body, down into the ground. As you breathe out, imagine roots growing out from the soles of your feet into the earth below.
Think of all the things that are happening in your life for which you are grateful; all the people in your life; all the opportunities, and the lifestyle you have.
Open your eyes and look into the mirror. Connect with yourself and see the person staring back at you. Notice how that feels – you may want to make a few notes about that.
Now start tapping each point, starting at the top of your head, and as you tap each point, state something for which you are grateful. This could be how you look, how you feel, how your life is going, who’s in your life, things you possess, places you’ve been, etc.
Repeat this process for several rounds of tapping. If you get stuck, give thanks for your body: how it supports you and digests your food, etc.
I guarantee your vibration will have shifted by the end of this exercise and you’ll feel energised! You may even surprise yourself by the amount of things you have to be grateful for!
Yours in Gratitude … Annabel
June 30, 2011
When we use EFT, much of our success depends on the words we use as we tap.
When my clients are new to EFT, they will often say, “I don’t know what to say when I tap!” It’s been my experience over the years that they don’t know what to say because they launch into the tapping process without doing the detective work that is necessary beforehand.
Have you ever had this experience? You start with the set-up phrase, and the words are flowing nicely, and then as you start to tap the points on the body, you run out of things to say?
You’re not alone!
Many things in life require preparation: a wonderful meal can take hours of chopping, mixing, baking, and steaming, before it is ready to be served; and a beautiful melody can take days of thought, practice, and fine tuning, before it is ready to be played. The same is true of EFT. It is an incredibly simple protocol to use AND there is some ground work that is necessary before the practical application starts.
So, before you start to tap, grab a pen and paper, and be prepared to write down your thoughts and feelings.
Here are some questions for you to answer which will help you get clear, and give you more than enough to say as you tap:
1. What is the problem?
Remember to be specific here: my EFT colleague, Alina Frank, talks about the Who, What, When, and Where of the problem.
For example, ‘my boss yelled at me this morning in front of my co-workers’.
As opposed to ‘my boss always makes me feel small and unimportant’, which will have multiple aspects since it happens on a regular basis.
2. How does that feel in my body?
For example, ‘my stomach is churning’, ‘my shoulders are tight’, or ‘my solar plexus is numb’.
This is a useful way of checking to see if the problem is resolving – the body will start to relax as you tap, and the sensations will ease.
3. What is the emotion I feel now about that problem?
For example, angry, belittled, disrespected, betrayed, etc.
4. If the feeling was a picture, what would it look like?
For example, ‘a storm’, ‘a black scribble on a white page’, ‘an empty grey ball’
This is useful for people who learn visually. You may recall a picture you have seen, or you may draw a picture in your mind. Whatever comes up, write it down.
Now you have a lot of content to use as you start tapping. It’s all written down in front of you, so all you have to do is refer to your notes as you tap.
I also suggest you ask this question:
What does this problem remind me of?
Your boss yelling at you might remind you of your teacher embarrassing you in class when you were 8, so it’s important to go back to that memory and use the same questions so that you can tap on that memory also.
Now you have done the detective work, you are prepared for tapping, and your success rate will soar. Also, because you have something to say as you tap, you’ll want to tap – and there will be no resistance!
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June 20, 2011
What happens when you’ve cleared a long standing problem with EFT?
Most usually there is a feeling of ease, relief, excitement and even curiosity. Sometimes, it’s as if a void is left in its place. It’s almost as if there is a gap; something is missing now.
The heavy coat. In one of my podcasts recently, Scott and I talked about the gap that is sometimes felt after successful tapping. I suggested it was similar to wearing a thick, heavy coat all winter and spring, so it started to feel like a heavy burden. Then suddenly throwing the coat off in a matter of seconds, so there was an unexpected weightlessness, which felt uncomfortable because it was not familiar.
So, what happens if you guess there probably will be a sense of weightlessness, space or unfamiliarity, once you’ve cleared problems with EFT? That may be enough to prevent you from tapping in the first place! Questions, (AKA resistance!) may arise in your mind.
- Who will I be once I let this problem go completely?
- What if it’s not safe to NOT be angry/grieving/stressed, etc?
- I’ll lose my current identity, and then what will they think?
If these types of questions or concerns come into your mind, write down the answers, and then use that information to tap on. Whatever you’ve written down is probably the reason why you are stuck, still experiencing that memory or limiting belief.
Remember, what we resist, persists. The problem will remain if we are unable to acknowledge it and address it.
Two strong emotions that can be challenging to release are anger and grief.
Here’s something I hear about grief quite a lot from clients: “I have to continue grieving in order to honour the person and acknowledge who they were”.
A good reframe for this as we tap is: Could I joyfully honour the person? Could I acknowledge them in a heartfelt way which brings me joy?
Often I’ll hear this about anger: “I can’t let go of the anger; otherwise they will have won”.
A useful consideration for this as we tap is: Does it have to be about winning? By holding on to this anger, I’m punishing myself and they aren’t even aware of how I’m feeling! What if I could “win” by letting go?
Once you let go of a longstanding emotion, there may be space, or gap which is left. To ensure it’s not filled up with a different stressor, tap in some positive reinforcements, acknowledging the courage it’s taken to release the past; how determined you are; how you love feeling free; how calm and confident you are, and so on.
Be mindful of the gap that is left, and fill that void with healthy acknowledgements of who you are and what you are capable of. Allow your body to feel what it’s like to hear those positive affirmations, and experience the joy!
April 28, 2011
I had a great conversation with my Level 1 graduates last night during a group coaching call. Several things were discussed which I thought I’d share with you because once again, I was reminded of the importance of supervised learning. How essential it is to receive feedback on your EFT application as you gain experience, and before you start working on more complex issues.
One of the students said she was using EFT with someone and she had addressed all the ‘table legs’ (I talked about this earlier in the month, and you can read it here on my blog post). She had identified the core issue, the ‘table top’, and after tapping on that, the person told her she still felt unfulfilled.
Because my student is new to EFT, she was unsure what to do next. I suggested in a situation like that, tap using the words the ‘client’ had said, i.e.
“Even though I’m feeling unfulfilled right now, I want to accept all of me anyway”
Why?
Because that was how the ‘client’ was feeling, that was what she was focused on, and that was the information she had given. As the facilitator, it is our job to “feed back” the information the client has already given us, as we tap the points. We don’t have to be mind readers!
Also, most usually, as we tap on what is at the surface, more thoughts, insights or feelings will come up – and all of this can be tapped on and cleared.Something else that came up in the discussion was when to skip using the Set Up. The purpose of the Set Up is to override Psychological Reversal (PR), and because it is so quick to do, I always encourage my students and clients to incorporate the Set Up in their tapping routines anyway – just in case PR is present.
When do we not need to include the Set Up?
If you are experiencing an emotion very intensely, e.g. shaking with anger, or desperate with sadness, you can jump straight in, tapping on the points on the face and body. Likewise, if you are in extreme pain, go straight to the points. You are already connected to the experience, both consciously and subconsciously. It is unlikely that, regarding this aspect at least, you are psychologically reversed.
We also discussed the importance of getting ourselves out of the way when we are working with someone else. When you are new to EFT and using it to release old limiting beliefs and hurtful memories, you may be easily triggered by the problems of the person you are helping.
If you are planning on helping others with EFT (and that is most usually the reason why people come to my workshops), then make sure you are also helping yourself by working through your own challenges and hurts. That way, you won’t react to, and be hooked into, the other person’s story when you hear it, and you won’t be drawn into giving advice or sharing your stories.
Taking these tips into consideration, you’ll get even greater EFT results!
April 14, 2011
During my Level 1 and Level 2 workshops last month, I was reminded again and again how important it is to be specific when we’re tapping so we achieve permanent results with EFT.
When I was teaching the participants Gary Craig’s Personal Peace Procedure, many of them came up with life-long beliefs which were very general, as opposed to specific events. For example, ‘I’ll never be successful’, ‘I’m not good enough’, and ‘I’m undeserving of achieving my dreams’.
Although this is what they may have felt very deeply, these beliefs are ‘table tops’ – very global with any number of underlying aspects, or ‘table legs’. If we only address the table top when we tap, we’re unlikely to clear much because the table legs beneath are still standing upright, demanding attention.
The table legs are the reasons why a person feels the way they do, or believes something to be true: in the person’s mind, the table legs are the evidence.
So before you start tapping, take a moment to consider this question:
What is the evidence to support this belief … what is the truth underlying it?
Then write down the memories (the table legs) you have which created the belief in the first place. For example:
- My Grade 4 teacher told me I’d never accomplish anything
- My rather left the family home when I was 7
- My mother told me she wished I’d been a girl
- My grandmother told me we were “just poor immigrants”
Rate the intensity of each memory as you think about it. Note how your body feels as you recall what you saw or heard or experienced.
Then start tapping on the memory with the highest intensity until it holds no charge for you, and move on to the next one. You will be addressing each ‘table leg’ so that when you have finished, the emotional charge of the ‘table top’ will have dissolved.
Getting clear and being specific when you address a problem is the key to successful EFT. Just consider all the reasons why you feel the way you do, or why you hold the belief you do, and use EFT on those.