Self love.  Intriguing.  What comes to mind?

Do any of these statements sound familiar:

‘With everything going on, my needs didn’t seem to matter’

‘I’m not used to focusing on myself – it seems selfish’

‘I’ve always put my family first because that’s what my mother did’

If any of these comments resonate for you, you’re not alone. It’s ingrained within us to look after others first and put ourselves second, because that’s the ‘right thing to do’. To consider our needs for a moment may appear selfish.

So with Valentine’s Day around the corner, and thoughts of love, relationships, connectedness and acknowledgement of another for the joy they bring you, where is the acknowledgement of yourself? Where is the self love?

It’s easy to put the focus on others. We may consider someone’s needs and push ourselves to look after their needs, forgetting about our own needs in the process. Or we may compare ourselves to someone else’s successes and fixate on what they’re accomplishing, or what they have.

All this keeps us very small, unfulfilled and disconnected from ourselves. How can we stay true to ourselves and our needs when we are constantly focusing outwards?

If there is any resistance coming up for you as you read this, any thoughts of how selfish it would be to think of yourself, then I encourage you to consider how you can prioritize yourself as much as them. What would it take to give yourself as much time as you give them? What would that feel like?

Write down any thoughts or feelings coming up for you right now, and then use the following tapping transcript to ease you into a little more self love:

Even though I’m not used to considering MY needs, I want to accept myself anyway

Even though I’ve always put their needs first, I’m open to the possibility that my needs are just as important so I’m willing to take a moment to think about what I need

Even though it’s selfish to think about my needs, I’m ready to forgive myself for the conflict I’m experiencing now

Head: I’ve always put them first

Eyebrow: it seemed right to do that

Side of eye: I didn’t even consider what I needed

Under eye: that would have been selfish

Under nose: I’ve given so much to them

Chin: and I forgot about me

Collarbone: and now seems like the perfect time to change this

Under arm: I deserve to feel safe enough to prioritise myself alongside them

Liver: I am ready to support myself the way that I’ve supported them

Wrists: It’s time to re-connect with me, and what I need, and that feels right in this moment.

Take a moment to write down any thoughts or feelings that came up as you tapped, and then tap on those for deeper resolution.