The EFT Healing Centre Blog
June 20, 2011
What happens when you’ve cleared a long standing problem with EFT?
Most usually there is a feeling of ease, relief, excitement and even curiosity. Sometimes, it’s as if a void is left in its place. It’s almost as if there is a gap; something is missing now.
The heavy coat. In one of my podcasts recently, Scott and I talked about the gap that is sometimes felt after successful tapping. I suggested it was similar to wearing a thick, heavy coat all winter and spring, so it started to feel like a heavy burden. Then suddenly throwing the coat off in a matter of seconds, so there was an unexpected weightlessness, which felt uncomfortable because it was not familiar.
So, what happens if you guess there probably will be a sense of weightlessness, space or unfamiliarity, once you’ve cleared problems with EFT? That may be enough to prevent you from tapping in the first place! Questions, (AKA resistance!) may arise in your mind.
- Who will I be once I let this problem go completely?
- What if it’s not safe to NOT be angry/grieving/stressed, etc?
- I’ll lose my current identity, and then what will they think?
If these types of questions or concerns come into your mind, write down the answers, and then use that information to tap on. Whatever you’ve written down is probably the reason why you are stuck, still experiencing that memory or limiting belief.
Remember, what we resist, persists. The problem will remain if we are unable to acknowledge it and address it.
Two strong emotions that can be challenging to release are anger and grief.
Here’s something I hear about grief quite a lot from clients: “I have to continue grieving in order to honour the person and acknowledge who they were”.
A good reframe for this as we tap is: Could I joyfully honour the person? Could I acknowledge them in a heartfelt way which brings me joy?
Often I’ll hear this about anger: “I can’t let go of the anger; otherwise they will have won”.
A useful consideration for this as we tap is: Does it have to be about winning? By holding on to this anger, I’m punishing myself and they aren’t even aware of how I’m feeling! What if I could “win” by letting go?
Once you let go of a longstanding emotion, there may be space, or gap which is left. To ensure it’s not filled up with a different stressor, tap in some positive reinforcements, acknowledging the courage it’s taken to release the past; how determined you are; how you love feeling free; how calm and confident you are, and so on.
Be mindful of the gap that is left, and fill that void with healthy acknowledgements of who you are and what you are capable of. Allow your body to feel what it’s like to hear those positive affirmations, and experience the joy!
May 26, 2011
Last week I went in search of finding the balance … that fine but crucial line between work and play, noise and quiet, adrenaline rush and inner peace. I needed it.
After the busy-ness of the past few weeks – teaching two workshops and then attending the Matrix Reimprinting Training with Sasha – I took myself off for a few days to a cabin in WA, owned by my EFT friend, Tami Close. She calls it her Perfect Place of Peace, and I couldn’t argue with that!
As soon as I drove up the very steep hill to get to the cabin, all the ‘fullness’ and ‘non-stopness’ of the previous weeks slipped away. The air was so fresh and clean, I could hear bird song, could see snow-capped mountains and a crystal blue lake. I immediately felt energized.
Tami and I talked quite a lot about achieving balance amidst the fullness of life, and what it means for our health and well-being to recognize that balance is essential, otherwise in some way or another, we will crash – either physically, mentally or emotionally. Having both experienced serious illnesses in the past, we could speak from experience!
So with this in mind, I thought the following tapping would be useful, especially if you’re juggling a heavy work load and wanting some balance.
Even though life is so busy and there’s no time for me, I want to accept myself anyway
Even though I crave some sort of balance but I don’t know how to make time for it, I want to accept all of me because I’m doing my best
Even though I don’t have the opportunity in my life to take any time for me because there’s already so much to do, I’m willing to treat myself with a little more kindness
Head: there’s no balance in my life
Eyebrow: where’s the ‘Me Time’?
Side of eye: there’s so much to do
Under eye: so much to take care of
Under nose: I’m feeling resentful and unheard
Chin: I really want some balance
Collarbone: and I’m unsure how to achieve it right now
Under arm: so I’m willing to honour the conflict I’m feeling
Liver: and treat myself with some compassion
Wrists: because under the circumstances, I’m doing my best.
When you’ve tapped through this a couple of times, write down some of the ways you’d LOVE to have balance in your life currently, e.g. time to read each day, time for a bath each evening, or time to go for an evening walk. When you read the list, notice any self-talk or resistance that arises, and note that down, and then tap on that. You deserve balance so you can achieve your fullest potential, rather than run on empty every day!
May 20, 2011
Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you simply can’t relate to the people around you or what they’re saying, and you feel completely misunderstood? Perhaps that’s how you feel on a daily basis within your family, or when you’re at work.
From the email feedback I received after my complimentary teleclass last week, “Celebrating the Highly Sensitive Personality”, this seemed to be a common way to feel.
During the teleclass, we talked about and tapped on what it’s like to not fit in and feel unaccepted because other people don’t “get” us. We dissolved the sadness surrounding all this, and celebrated our ability to feel deeply and listen to, and trust, our intuition.
For as long as I can remember I’ve felt like a square peg in a round hole. Through using EFT I now recognise this as a unique gift which allows me to see the world from a different perspective and I hope, use that different perspective to reframe situations for my clients.
The following tapping transcript incorporates some of the thoughts shared on the teleclass which may be helpful to you.
Top of head: I don’t fit in
Eyebrow: People don’t understand me
Side of eye: Just because I feel things so deeply
Under eye: they think something’s wrong with me
Under nose: They just don’t get me
Chin: I’m hurting because of this
Collarbone: and I end up criticising myself
Under arm: Maybe there is something wrong with me
Top of head: No, there isn’t!
Eyebrow: There is something very right with me!
Side of eye: It’s right that I care about things this much
Under eye: It’s good I feel so deeply
Under nose: I want to appreciate these parts of me
Chin: and acknowledge them as gifts
Collarbone: Because I’m so intuitive
Under arm: others will benefit from my strengths
Now close your eyes and take a deep but comfortable breath. You might need to repeat this process or feel free to change the wording so it applies to how you really feel. The phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative or get hung up on finding the “perfect” wording – just state what’s on your min
April 28, 2011
I had a great conversation with my Level 1 graduates last night during a group coaching call. Several things were discussed which I thought I’d share with you because once again, I was reminded of the importance of supervised learning. How essential it is to receive feedback on your EFT application as you gain experience, and before you start working on more complex issues.
One of the students said she was using EFT with someone and she had addressed all the ‘table legs’ (I talked about this earlier in the month, and you can read it here on my blog post). She had identified the core issue, the ‘table top’, and after tapping on that, the person told her she still felt unfulfilled.
Because my student is new to EFT, she was unsure what to do next. I suggested in a situation like that, tap using the words the ‘client’ had said, i.e.
“Even though I’m feeling unfulfilled right now, I want to accept all of me anyway”
Why?
Because that was how the ‘client’ was feeling, that was what she was focused on, and that was the information she had given. As the facilitator, it is our job to “feed back” the information the client has already given us, as we tap the points. We don’t have to be mind readers!
Also, most usually, as we tap on what is at the surface, more thoughts, insights or feelings will come up – and all of this can be tapped on and cleared.Something else that came up in the discussion was when to skip using the Set Up. The purpose of the Set Up is to override Psychological Reversal (PR), and because it is so quick to do, I always encourage my students and clients to incorporate the Set Up in their tapping routines anyway – just in case PR is present.
When do we not need to include the Set Up?
If you are experiencing an emotion very intensely, e.g. shaking with anger, or desperate with sadness, you can jump straight in, tapping on the points on the face and body. Likewise, if you are in extreme pain, go straight to the points. You are already connected to the experience, both consciously and subconsciously. It is unlikely that, regarding this aspect at least, you are psychologically reversed.
We also discussed the importance of getting ourselves out of the way when we are working with someone else. When you are new to EFT and using it to release old limiting beliefs and hurtful memories, you may be easily triggered by the problems of the person you are helping.
If you are planning on helping others with EFT (and that is most usually the reason why people come to my workshops), then make sure you are also helping yourself by working through your own challenges and hurts. That way, you won’t react to, and be hooked into, the other person’s story when you hear it, and you won’t be drawn into giving advice or sharing your stories.
Taking these tips into consideration, you’ll get even greater EFT results!
April 14, 2011
During my Level 1 and Level 2 workshops last month, I was reminded again and again how important it is to be specific when we’re tapping so we achieve permanent results with EFT.
When I was teaching the participants Gary Craig’s Personal Peace Procedure, many of them came up with life-long beliefs which were very general, as opposed to specific events. For example, ‘I’ll never be successful’, ‘I’m not good enough’, and ‘I’m undeserving of achieving my dreams’.
Although this is what they may have felt very deeply, these beliefs are ‘table tops’ – very global with any number of underlying aspects, or ‘table legs’. If we only address the table top when we tap, we’re unlikely to clear much because the table legs beneath are still standing upright, demanding attention.
The table legs are the reasons why a person feels the way they do, or believes something to be true: in the person’s mind, the table legs are the evidence.
So before you start tapping, take a moment to consider this question:
What is the evidence to support this belief … what is the truth underlying it?
Then write down the memories (the table legs) you have which created the belief in the first place. For example:
- My Grade 4 teacher told me I’d never accomplish anything
- My rather left the family home when I was 7
- My mother told me she wished I’d been a girl
- My grandmother told me we were “just poor immigrants”
Rate the intensity of each memory as you think about it. Note how your body feels as you recall what you saw or heard or experienced.
Then start tapping on the memory with the highest intensity until it holds no charge for you, and move on to the next one. You will be addressing each ‘table leg’ so that when you have finished, the emotional charge of the ‘table top’ will have dissolved.
Getting clear and being specific when you address a problem is the key to successful EFT. Just consider all the reasons why you feel the way you do, or why you hold the belief you do, and use EFT on those.
March 6, 2011
The work I do with many of my clients involves connecting to the inner child, honouring her, and speaking up for her.
At the end of an EFT session recently, when my client had been connecting to her little one, I asked her if she would consider writing a poem through the eyes of her inner child about a particular memory.
She agreed and what she emailed me was so beautiful that I asked her if I could share it on my blog, and she agreed!
Ecstasy in the cloudburst
(as we all walk back to the bank after our lunch break around the table of grandma)
hot summer day filled with
the excitement of the shower in preparation
hot soil
hot concrete
hot air
huge, fat, warm drops
tapping on our heads, noses and lips
then the sudden outburst of the clouds,
down pouring warm water
barefoot in the puddles
freely chasing fun in the warm
water swelling and running then overflowing at the
sidewalk bricks
it is not a shower, not a downpour
it is a cloudburst!
howling, screaming in ecstasy,
running from growing puddles to puddles
overflowing everything
enjoy the touch of the warm flow of fresh, exalted water
on our hair and skin
we all are in bikinis, swimming suits on the streets
the touch of the mixture of sensations,
thunderbolts and lightening
the frenetic sound, majestic noise
of downpour – as the water is hitting the leaves, the concrete
and anything,
the gentle but powerful twinkling on our sole and feet while
devouring the strokes of hot water splashes
and the touch of the soft warm concrete
the visual marvel of the dancing, fluctuating water-curtains
fluid water-walls
the sparks in our eyes
the laughter of overflowing joy and
the absolute freedom of the moment
I secretly enjoy something else as well
now we all resonate together – adults and children -
we all are drunk with joy
upheld by the skin of Mother Earth beneath
soaked by the warmth of watery strokes of Father Heaven above
exalted by the magnificent cosmic concert grandioso
convinced once again that Nature is above human (the un-awakened)
secretly in admiration to Her I bow
Kripamaya
February 16, 2011
Last week in my blog post, I was considering what it meant to be the “best”, and how we knew when we’d accomplished it. I suggested that rather than it being about receiving acknowledgement, perhaps it was more to do with being completely connected to who we are, and what we are doing in that moment.
My client had been supervising a group of students and consistently drew a blank, having very little to contribute to the discussion. Deep down, he knew the information well but perhaps because there was a level of expectation upon him, no thoughts would come.
He’d previously told me that he was driven to be the best in all situations, yet he was fully aware that the “best”, whatever that was, was unattainable. All this left him filled with dread and anxiety.
I asked him when he believed he had been at this best in the past. His face lit up and it was easy for him to recollect – it was a time in his life when he was doing what he wanted to do; a time when he had something to say that he was passionate about; a time when he “felt alive”.
The passion he felt for what he was doing was far greater than any fear he had about what he was doing.
Did he receive applause and praise for what he was doing? Yes! And did that feel great? Yes! But what he remembers more than any of that external stimulus was how much he loved life at that time, and how invigorated he was.
To me, that is someone living at their best, thriving, and positively affecting the lives of others around them.
The next time you hear your self-criticism playing, take a moment to recall when you last felt really passionate about what you were doing – when you felt alive – and notice the change in your physiology as you remember what that was like. It will completely shift your vibration.
Then you can begin to recreate that wonderful experience of being at your best all over again in the present time.
February 10, 2011
When someone is put on a pedestal, and praised and congratulated for doing something, this can feel amazing. The downside of this is he may need to live up to that again, and again – especially if he is encouraged that doing whatever it was showed him at his “best”. It’s a downside because if he can’t live up to that consistently, the praise may diminish, the adulation stops, and the criticisms/comparisons can start.
Do you ever think, “I must be the smartest/funniest/slimmest/wealthiest/most successful…I must be the best“?
That thought is often followed by, “but I’ll never make it”. It’s as though it’s a glass ceiling that stretches upwards and is never attainable.
But what is the best?
Are we really the best because of the response we get: praise, acclaim, applause? Or is it more about feeling the best in our core – being completely connected to who we are, and what we are doing in that moment.
It’s my belief that when we are completely present, and in alignment with our integrity, we are automatically resonated at a level which is our best naturally and effortlessly.
Take a pen and notebook, and write about a time when you were doing what you loved, felt completely connected to what you were doing, and felt real joy and purpose.
How did it feel? What did you see and hear? What were you thinking? Were there any feelings of reservation?
Are you able to create that sensation again?
Is it possible that in that moment, you were being your best? And doesn’t the world deserve to see the person you were in that moment even more (not someone battling to accomplish the unattainable, frustrated and overwhelmed)?
In Part 2, I’ll talk about how my client realized what the “best” was for him.
February 6, 2011
As many of you know, last year I held the first EFT Gathering in Canada, and we had speakers from Canada and America. It was a fabulous success – a wonderful opportunity for EFT’ers to meet, network, share successes, and create a much needed community here.
One of the presentations was given by my good friends Alina Frank and Craig Weiner from Washington State.
Alina wanted to forge a similar community in Seattle, and she will be!
On Saturday February 26th, the first Washington EFT Tappers Gathering is taking place in Seattle, and I’ll be one of the speakers!
Here’s what Alina says:
“This all day event will feature the top Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioners from the state sharing their wisdom and expert knowledge in their various specialities. Learn new techniques, share your own healing stories, and help us forge a real community here in Washington.”
There will be presentations on EFT for relationships, children, setting bourndaries and illness, EFT and effective self-talk, and EFT and the Energy Sweep.
And best of all, you don’t have to live in Washington State to attend!
Please see the details for the event here
I’m looking forward to seeing you there!
warm wishes,
Annabel
January 27, 2011
How is 2011 so far? Filled with ease and delightful surprises I hope!
Sometimes the beginning of a new year can be stressful because things are different, expectations are high, and motivation can be low. If you are feeling anxious about the changes that the New Year has brought, then you may find the tapping transcript below useful:
If you are new to EFT, please click here to view the tapping points.
With your dominant hand, tap the karate chop point on the other hand while saying the following:
Even though it’s a new year and everything is different, I deserve to feel calm and confident anyway
Even though I adjusted to the last year and it made me feel safe, I choose to believe I can adjust to the New Year just as easily
Even though I don’t like the changes that the New Year brings, what if those changes are exciting and delightful?
Even though I’m fearful of the changes the New Year will bring, I want to let go of these fears surprisingly easily
Now tap the following places while saying each of the phrases below:
Top of the head: all these changes
Eyebrow: I don’t like change
Side of the eye: everything will be different
Under the eye: everything will be unfamiliar
Under the nose: and I’m afraid of these changes
Chin: I like knowing what to expect
Collarbone: I feel safe when everything is familiar
Under the arm: I don’t like change
Top of the head: all these changes
Eyebrow: and I deserve to feel calm during the changes
Side of the eye: what if I could make some positive changes?
Under the eye: what is these changes could be surprisingly easy?
Under the nose: I’m assuming this will be hard
Chin: what if I could look at the year ahead with curiosity instead?
Collarbone: I deserve to look at this New Year positively
Under the arm: and I choose to feel safe enough to do this
Now close your eyes and take a deep but comfortable breath. You might need to repeat this process or feel free to change the wording so it applies to how you really feel. The phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative or get hung up on find the “perfect” wording – just state what’s on your mind.
In case you missed my New Year video, Step Into 2011 with Confidence, here it is again:
Step Into 2011 with Confidence
warm wishes,
Annabel