Do certain family members make you dread spending time with them?
Summer seems to be the season for family reunions. And while, for many, time with family can be warm and rewarding, sadly, that isn't always the case for everyone. Indeed, a relative who regularly behaves badly in some way can even make getting together with family something we wish we could avoid altogether.
A client of mine recently expressed dread regarding a reunion with family she hadn't seen in nearly twenty years. These family members visiting from another country weren't the source of the stress, but rather, knowing she'd have to see and spend time with certain cousins who "act like they're doing you a favor by breathing the same air as you" at a brunch in honour of the visitors. The other thing affecting her was her mother's stress regarding this brunch - "What are you going to wear? Are you sure you want to wear your hair that way? Make sure you talk to your cousins, even if they don't say hello first. I hope your sister doesn't have anything to drink beforehand. Your brother isn't making any points by not going to this."
We can't change another person's behaviour, but we can change our response to that behaviour - even old, hard-wired responses - and in so doing, regain peace around attending obligatory events. Whether you're shrinking from an upcoming event or recovering from a stressful time with family, you might consider using the following phrases.
With your dominant hand, tap the karate chop point on the other hand while saying the following:
Even though I feel judged, I want to accept my emotions around this
Even though they want me to be different, I choose to remain calm and confident in who I am
Even though this event makes me question myself, I deserve to accept who I am and how I'm feeling
Now tap the following places while saying each of the phrases below.
Top of the head: I'm dreading this
Eyebrow: he'll judge me
Side of the eye: she'll judge me
Under the eye: they'll want me to be different
Under the nose: I'll have to behave in a certain way
Chin: I feel uncomfortable about this
Collarbone: I don't want to be part of this stressful situation
Under the arm: I start to believe I'm not good enough
Top of the head: I am good enough!
Eyebrow: I'm just assuming I'll be judged
Side of the eye: what if I'm accepted?
Under the eye: what if they appreciate me for being me?
Under the nose: what if this is surprisingly easy?
Chin: I've decided to be calm and confident
Collarbone: I choose to accept all of me
Under the arm: and safely let go of any concerns about this event.
Disclaimer: In tapping along to this transcript, you take full responsibility for your health and well being.
About the author: Annabel Fisher is a licensed NLP Practitioner and runs a successful EFT practice. Find relief from pain, chronic illness, fears and phobias, headaches and migraines, weight issues and more through EFT. Get your free "The Essentials of EFT Guide" plus one-hour EFT Q&A audio recording by signing up for her newsletter at: www.theefthealingcentre.com.